I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
