I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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