I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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