Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
