I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
