I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
