I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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