They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
