Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
