she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
