I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
