My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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