remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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