"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
