I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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