You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
