I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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