it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
