If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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