She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I understand Curling. That high.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
