So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
