apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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