So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
