He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
