new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
