she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize