Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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