return my video game
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
