My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
