Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
