I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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