its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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