Where did you get a picture of my penis
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize