Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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