no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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