I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
