You're so nebulous sometimes
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
