Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize