Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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