It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
