You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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