Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
