When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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