I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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