You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
