why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
