He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
