Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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