it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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