No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
it's great music for shaving your balls
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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