Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
