Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
