It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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