Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
