Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
