Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You need a sexual gate keeper
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize