If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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