i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
