We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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