drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
