:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
