He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
