Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
honey bunches of taint.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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