Only a mothe r could love this liver
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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