I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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