why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
